|
So what's it all supposed to mean, having a disability?
Many people, I have encountered
in my life, seem to think that to have a disability in any shape or form is to be cursed with a life filled with only knowing
thoughts of hopelessness and despair.
While there may be some people living with a handicap that have these feelings, I do not although there was a time in my life when I did.
I might not know of anyone else's life story living with
a handicap, but I'd like to share mine, in the hopes it provides people with a sense of insight, and understanding those who live each day of their lives, just wanting to be like everyone
else.
My life with Meningomylocele (Spina Bifida), Hydrocephalus and Chiari has actually for the most part,
been a very internal journey of self.
At first I grew up loathing myself, hating what my conditions
prevented me from being able to do and putting so much blame on them, I couldn't see that in truth it was my personality in
itself that people disliked most, not Spina Bifida, Hydrocephalus or Chiari.
However I have
still met those, who genuinely have shown themselves to be extremely ignorant, and unyielding in their views towards anyone with a disability.
This both saddens, and angers me. Society has come such a long way in developing tolerance, but from my way of thinking I
don't want to just be tolerated I want to fit in and not have to always worry, that when someone is taking time out to be
kind to me, it's out of pity for my handicap.
When I was born, my mother was told I'd most likely
never walk, and a social worker even went to my mother, offering to take me away to what I'm sure would have been foster care,
or some type of group home.
My mother, to her credit, refused to accept any of this and made
it her mission to see me walk, and while I was delayed somewhat (did not walk till I was 3), I am proud to say I am still
walking, talking and enjoying life to the best of my ability.
Time's are not always easy, and
from my early teens and now, I battle depression and self doubt brought on by years of feeling bullied and ostracized by others,
who did not want me in the public school system integrated with others who were deemed "able bodied" and I was not.
However
in learning to fight this every day, it's taught me to be tough, practical and determined to achieve what I set out to accomplish.
There
will be good days ahead, and some really bad days but through it all, I will let nothing keep me from enjoying my time on
Earth, no matter how much or limited that time turns out to be.
|
